I knew I had to do something when my new neighbors put up a camera in my garden. What began as a simple plan to teach them a lesson about privacy turned into a crazy show that got the attention of the police, which had effects I could not have imagined.
It’s funny how life can take you by surprise. I never thought I’d become an amateur actress to teach my nosy neighbors a lesson.
Carla and Frank moving in next door was the start of it all. At first, they seemed nice, if a little… off.
I gave them a basket of tomatoes from my yard and said, “Welcome to the neighborhood.” “My name is Zoe.”
Carla looked around quickly and nervously. “Thanks.” We care a lot about security. Do you get it?”
I didn’t, but I still nodded. I had no idea what that would mean for me.
***
After a week, I came home from seeing my mom to find a strange thing in my garden. I saw a small black item under the eaves of their house while I sat in my swimsuit and took care of my beloved tomatoes.
“Is that a screen?” While looking at it, I muttered. When I saw that it was directed right at my yard, my blood ran cold.
I walked over to their house in my swimsuit and banged on the door. Frank replied, looking irritated.
“Why does that camera look at my yard?” I asked for.
He gave a shrug. “It’s for safety.” The fence must not be climbed.
I just stuttered, “That’s silly.” “You’re getting too close to me!”
Carla showed up behind him. She said in a cold voice, “We have the right to protect our property.”
I walked away angry. I could have gone to court with them, but who has time or money to do that? No, I needed a different method.
That’s when I called my friends.
I told Samantha, “I need your help.” “What do you think about some… performance art?”
She laughed. “I’m interested.” Tell me more.
I told everyone what I was going to do, and soon we had a full crew. Miguel, who works here and is great at special effects, and Harriet, who loved all costumes.
I thought about whether I was going too far as planned. “Are we sure about this, guys?” I asked at the end of our meeting.
Samantha touched my shoulder. “Zoe, they’ve checked up on you for weeks.” They need to understand this.
Miguel said “yes.” “It will also be fun!” “When was the last time we did something so crazy?”
Harriet made a face. “The costumes are already being made.” Now you can’t back out!”
Their excitement made me feel good, and my worries went away. “Okay, let’s do this.”
The next Saturday, we got together in my garden dressed in the silliest clothes you can think of. Over my scuba suit, I wore a tutu and a bright green wig.
“Are you ready for the biggest garden party ever?” Laughed.
Samantha made changes to her alien mask. “Let us put on a show for those creeps that they will never forget.”
We started with normal party games, if you can even call them normal when everyone is dressed like they just got out of the circus. We played games and danced while making sure the camera could see us.
“Hey, Zoe!” It was Miguel who called out, his pirate hat crooked. “What’s up with your mom?”
I smiled as I thought about my recent trip. “She’s fine. Her friend’s son is still on the hook for me.
Harriet laughed, and her Red Riding Hood cape moved around. “That mom move.” Did you let her know about the camera?”
I turned my head away. “No, I didn’t want to bother her.” She would likely come over here herself and tell them what she thinks.
“To be honest,” Samantha said, “that might have been fun to watch.”
We all laughed as we imagined my sassy mom yelling at Carla and Frank. Then it was time for the big event.
“No way!” I screamed and pointed at Samantha. “She was stabbed!”
Miguel quickly pulled out a ketchup-covered rubber knife. “Damn, she came for it!”
Samantha fell sharply, and ketchup “blood” started to pool around her. We all got angry and started running around in a panic.
“Should we call the cops?” When Harriet yelled, her cape flapped as she hopped around.
“No, we need to hide the body!” I yelled back.
I felt a chill go down my spine all of a sudden. The curtain next door moved. Had someone seen us? After that, the only sound that broke the creepy silence was our rough breathing.
Our eyes darted back and forth as we stood still. At that moment, the weight of our made-up crime felt all too real. Somewhere far away, a dog barked, which made us all jump.
We didn’t know what would happen next, so time seemed to drag on, and each second felt like an eternity.
Miguel dropped the ketchup-stained knife with a shaking hand. She was still lying on the ground and was barely able to breathe. The air got thick with stress and pressed down on us like a force.
It was hard for me to swallow because my mouth was dry. My mind was racing with silly ideas for how we could explain what happened to anyone who might have seen it. Are they going to think it was just a game? What if our stupid joke turned into something much worse?
Somewhere down the street, a car door slammed. Our nerves were on edge, and we all jerked at the same time. The sound of footsteps seemed to echo through the silence, getting louder as time went on. Had someone called the police?
We heard sirens far away at that moment. I said in a whisper, “Showtime.” “Everyone quickly go inside!”
She was dragged inside, the ketchup was cleaned up, and we were back to normal in record time. When the cops came to my door, we were all sitting at the table, looking like nothing was wrong.
The cop looked confused and asked, “Is everything okay here?”
I made the most worried citizen face I could give. “Of course, officer.” “Is something wrong?”
She told them that there had been a report of a violent crime at this place. I faked shock and then let “realization” dawn on my face.
“Oh!” “We were just acting on the spot in the backyard,” I explained. “It must have looked pretty real, right?”
The cop made a face. “How could someone see into your yard?” “Those fences are pretty tall.”
I let out a big sigh. “That’s the real problem here, officer,” The people next door have a camera pointed at my yard. I did not give them permission to record me.
She raised an eyebrow. “Is that true?” I believe it is time to talk to your friends.
From my window, we saw the cops go next door. Carla and Frank looked scared as they were being questioned.
After an hour, the officer came back. “Ma’am, I’m afraid your neighbors have been spying on you without your permission.” Their gear has been taken away, and they will be charged. Would you be willing to say something?”
I tried to act shocked. “That’s awful!” I had no idea it was that big. But, of course, I’ll say something and go to court if it comes to that.
When the cops left, my friends and I were happy about our win.
“I can’t believe it worked!” Samantha was amused.
Miguel put his glass up. “To Zoe, the master of vengeance!”
I smiled, but I couldn’t help but feel something. “Do you believe we went too far?”
That was all Harriet could say. “They got into your private space.” They got what was coming to them.
***
The next day, I was back in my garden, where I could enjoy the sun without thinking about anyone looking at me. While I was taking care of my veggies, I saw Carla and Frank leave their house with their bags.
Some of me felt bad, but then I thought about all the tapes they had of me. They had already made up their minds. It was my job to help them deal with the results.
I smiled to myself as I picked a ripe tomato. Dealing with nosy neighbors outside of court isn’t always the best option. Sometimes, coming up with creative solutions is the best way to go.
If farming doesn’t work out, I know I can still work in community theater, so that’s something.
Next week, Samantha and I were having coffee when she asked, “So, any news about Carla and Frank?”
I turned my head away. “Not really.” They left, and the police haven’t called me back yet. It’s possible that they chose not to press charges after all. I don’t think I miss them, though.
Samantha gave a grin. “I bet they’d think twice now about putting up cameras.”
I agreed and said, “Yeah.” Then I stopped. “You know, sometimes I wonder if we should feel bad.” It was kind of like we turned their lives upside down.
Samantha gave me a strange look. She told Zoe, “They broke the law.” We only told them about them.
I agreed, but the guilt was still there. “Yes, I know.” It’s just… I can’t get over how scared they looked when the cops arrived.
Samantha leaned forward and said, “Hey, remember how violated you felt when you saw that camera?” How mad were you? For weeks, they hurt you like that.
I sighed. “You’re right.” I guess I’m not used to being the “bad guy.”
She laughed. “Believe me, you’re not the bad guy here.” “You’re brave for standing up for yourself.”
In the evening, I was watering my veggies when I saw a moving truck pull up to Carla and Frank’s house. A young couple who looked happy got out.
I watched as they laughed and talked as they unloaded the boxes. Some part of me wanted to go over and say hello and maybe tell them about the previous owners. But I also wanted to move on.
I made up my mind as I looked back at my garden. I wouldn’t have any ideas or biases about these new neighbors before I met them. Still, I’d keep my eyes open. You never know when you might need to have another garden party.
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