{"id":15024,"date":"2026-05-15T23:40:17","date_gmt":"2026-05-15T23:40:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/trendusa1.online\/?p=15024"},"modified":"2026-05-15T23:40:17","modified_gmt":"2026-05-15T23:40:17","slug":"relationship-with-god","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/trendusa1.online\/?p=15024","title":{"rendered":"Relationship with God."},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

90-year-old George went for his annual physical.
\nAll of his tests came back with normal results.<\/p>\n

Dr. Darns said, \u201cGeorge, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your God?\u201d<\/p>\n

George replied, \u201cGod and me are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he\u2019s fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom (poof!) the light goes on when I pee, and then (poof!) the light goes off when I\u2019m done.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWow,\u201d commented Dr. Darnes, \u201cthat\u2019s incredible!\u201d<\/p>\n

A little later in the day Dr. Darnes called George\u2019s wife.<\/p>\n

\u201cThelma,\u201d he said, \u201cGeorge is just fine. Physically he\u2019s great. But I had to call because I\u2019m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and (poof!) the light goes on in the bathroom, and then (poof!) the light goes off?\u201d<\/p>\n

Thelma exclaimed, \u201cThat old fool! He\u2019s been peeing in the refrigerator again!\u201d<\/p>\n

A 5-year old girl went to visit her grandmother one day.
\nShe played with her dolls as grandma dusted the furniture.<\/p>\n

At one point, she looked up and asked: \u201cGrandma, how come you don\u2019t have a boyfriend?\u201d<\/p>\n

Grandma replied: \u201cHoney, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The TV evangelists keep me company and make me feel so good. The comedies make me laugh. I\u2019m so happy with my TV as my boyfriend.\u201d<\/p>\n

Grandma turned on the TV and the picture was horrible. She started adjusting the knobs trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting the back of the TV hoping to fix the problem.<\/p>\n

The little girl heard the doorbell ring so she hurried to open the front door. When she opened the door, there stood Grandma\u2019s minister.<\/p>\n

The minister said: \u201cHello young lady. Is your grandma home?\u201d<\/p>\n

The little girl replied: \u201cYeah, she\u2019s in the bedroom bangin\u2019 her boyfriend.\u201d<\/p>\n

A little girl is sitting on her grandpa\u2019s lap and studying the wrinkles on his old face.
\nShe gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles.<\/p>\n

Then she touches her own face and looks more puzzled.<\/p>\n

Finally the little girl asks, \u201cGrandpa, did God make you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe sure did honey, a long time ago,\u201d replies her grandpa.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, did God make me?\u201d asks the little girl.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, He did, and that wasn\u2019t too long ago,\u201d answers her grandpa.<\/p>\n

\u201cBoy,\u201d says the little girl, \u201cHe\u2019s sure doing a lot better job these days isn\u2019t He?\u201d<\/p>\n

A man is trying to understand the nature of God, time, and the Universe. He asks God,
\n\u201cHow long is a billion years to you?\u201d<\/p>\n

God says, \u201cA billion years is like a second to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

The man asks, \u201cWell, how much is a billion dollars to you?\u201d<\/p>\n

God says, \u201cA billion dollars is like a penny to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

So the man says, \u201cGod, can I have a penny?\u201d<\/p>\n

And God replies, \u201cIn a sec.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

90-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results. Dr. Darns said, \u201cGeorge, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your God?\u201d George replied, \u201cGod and me are tight. He…<\/p>\n

Read More “Relationship with God.”<\/span> »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15024","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/trendusa1.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15024","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/trendusa1.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/trendusa1.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trendusa1.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trendusa1.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=15024"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/trendusa1.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15024\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15025,"href":"https:\/\/trendusa1.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15024\/revisions\/15025"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/trendusa1.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=15024"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trendusa1.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=15024"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trendusa1.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=15024"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}